Let me level with you, lately I’ve been pretty boring cause I’ve been pretty bored. I’ve given you some excuses. Tried to hide my boredom behind a bit of internal chaos (freaking out about actually dating, fighting with my mom, making peace with my place in life right now). Sure, those things were on my mind but I also exaggerated there effect. I’ve rather lazily made a lot of a relationship that was quickly fizzling. The fact has remained that I’ve been suffering from a serious case of ennui.
I’ve felt as dull and boring as the blank white sky out my window. Dating a guy who didn’t really provide any intellectual stimulation probably didn’t help any (we called that off last week, by the way—it really wasn’t working for either of us). Putting all the blame on him certainly wouldn’t be fair. It’s just a phase. All the things I’ve been reading, listening to and watching simply haven’t been able to pique my passion.
There have been some good sermons I’ve heard. I’ve seen some quality films (one of those being the surprisingly good finale to the Twilight series. It practically made up for all the mediocre movies leading up to it). I’ve read some worthwhile articles (like the best articulation and soundest argument for women in church leadership I’ve yet read written by N.T. Wright here). Still, I’ve pretty much felt like this:
It’s a good thing we don’t have a firearm or our walls might need some serious patching.
With my mind so utterly silent, I found myself in the place Frederick Buechner describes in A Room Called Remember: Uncollected Pieces: “The time is ripe for looking back over the day, the week, the year, and trying to figure out where we have come from and where we are going to, for sifting through the things we have done and the things we have left undone for a clue to who we are and who, for better or worse, we are becoming.” But I’m so over this. It’s time to look outward instead of inward.
Since my muse still seems to be on vacation, I’ve decided to begin questing for her like crazy. I’m intentionally setting out to be inspired.
Do you have any suggestions for me? A novel, article, youtube clip, photoblog or other piece of creative/artistic/intellectual work that inspired you that you’d recommend?